Move over sex and money. Successful relationships are overwhelmingly about respect and trust. Add in some humor and chances are your relationship is in good shape.
In a recent CBS News Poll on Love and Marriage, when asked to pick what is most important in a successful relationship, about half picked “Respect” (49%), followed by “Trust” (37%), and a “Sense of humor” (10%). “Sex” was picked by 2%. “Money” recorded 0%.
Do these qualities in a marriage relate to business relationships? Reading through The Creative Alliance website, I noticed a couple keys in our philosophy:
“Trust is everything…humility and humor are the keys to creativity…” (You can read the full text at https://www.thecreativealliance.com/aboutus/philosophy.html).
Respect, the number one quality in a successful relationship is missing in our philosophy, but I’ve come to realize just how important it is in marriage—and in business.
The Creative Alliance is an agency devoted to the success of visionary companies, so we’ve been studying the qualities of these companies and their leaders. Most of the qualities are what you’d expect: insight, passion, determination, creativity, focus, etc.
But when we looked closer at our own clients, we noticed a more personal side that resonated with the vast majority of the leaders: respect and trust. In fact, we realized that our most successful client leaders had these two qualities. And likewise, the few who had limited strengths in these areas, also struggled with business success. Is there a link?
What does respect and trust mean? Respect means “to feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.” In our business, this plays out in both actions and words. Demonstrating respect is best seen in little things; going out our your way to deliver something…staying later to help…re-working concepts when there is no time or money left… being gracious when people make mistakes…the list goes on.
Action doesn’t always speak louder than words. What we say and how we say it is huge. I was taught that there are two parts to what we say: The content message (the meaning), and the ego message (the feeling). The people who master the ego message tend to rank high in the respect category. You like working with people who make you feel good. And visa versa.
Often, just saying “I value your opinion…” or, “Thank you for going the extra mile…” or, “We appreciate your can-do attitude…” means everything. This brings out the best in us, and it shows up in bottom-line results.
Trust is defined as “firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.” You can see why these words are critical to a successful marriage and business relationship. When we esteem people we naturally rely on them, and on what they do and say. Respect and trust are a powerful combination.
If you get this from your spouse or a friend, reciprocate the high praise with some well-meaning words of your own. And why wait? Take the lead and find opportunities to spread the love. The same goes for your clients, vendors, staff and other stakeholders in your business.
Try a little tenderness in your words and deeds. It will go a long way to having successful personal and business relationships.
“Marriage is not just a spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”
— Dr. Joyce Brothers